Sometimes you have to get knocked off your horse!

   Luke records in Acts 9:3-4,

As he (Saul)  neared Damascus, on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him.  He fell off his horse and onto the ground and heard a voice say to him, "Saul! Saul! Why do you persecute me?"

   Saul was on his "mission" to destroy the church and head them off at Damascus by bringing all those who belonged to "The Way" back to Jerusalem to be tried and put in prison to die (note that Rome had taken away Israel's right to capital punishment, but leaving a person in a dungeon to die was often used as a way around this limitation).  Many believers I am sure were praying for Saul to be stopped on his travels.   We know that Christians in Damascus were fully aware of Saul's mission and exploits.   Saul thought he was doing God's will.  He saw this branch of Judaism to be a false teaching that needed to be snuffed out by all means necessary.

    Yet God comes and knocks Saul off of his horse and confronts Saul with his actions.   Jesus doesn't say, "Why are you persecuting my followers?"   Instead, he says "Why are you persecuting me?"   So Saul was not guilty of just harming God's people, but harming God himself.  This is not a place anyone wants to find themselves.

   How many of us need to be knocked off of our horses?    We are hell bent on what we see as "our mission" only to find we are working against God himself.   In my own life, I have seen times where God had to knock me down to get my attention.  Too often, when things got tough I retreated to my work as an engineer.  At my work I got accolades for my work.  To many, I was a super-star and was looked up to by others around me.   Several years ago, all that ended.   Things were tough again but this time I could not fall back on my work.  I went through a tough time and I saw my energy level drop dramatically on the treadmill in the gym (used to run 9 mph ... now could barely go 6 mph).  I experienced what I can only describe as "intense brain fog".   I couldn't think.  I couldn't remember how to do things.   It was a terrifying feeling for me as an engineer.   I thought I was experiencing early Alzheimer's (but I was only 44 at the time) and 5 years later I would find out that I had severe-low-Testosterone brought on by stress.   It was during this time, I had to rely more on God than on myself.   I could not run away from my troubles but I had to confront them.   God was stopping me and saying,

"John! John!  Why don't you come to me?"  

    Paul (formerly Saul) looked back at this time as being the best thing that ever happened to him.  But while he was going through it, the experience was not enjoyable.  We read that Saul was made blind after meeting Jesus and he had to be led by the hand to a home in Damascus.    Luke records that he neither ate nor drank anything for 4 days.  He saw his life as being over.  Yet in his anguish Jesus was there and had already planned for Saul's help to come to him.   A disciple of Jesus by the name of Ananias was sent to restore Saul's sight and bring him the good news of Jesus!  He ate something and was baptized.  The murderer of Christians was now it's most ardent advocate and soon it's biggest missionary.

     We may not be in the same place of Saul by persecuting believers, but we may be in a place where we are wrestling with God or causing him pain because of where we are headed in our lives.  Where in your life have you been going on your own?  Where do you need to be knocked down so God can get your attention?