First let's look at the 6th commandment: Thou shalt not commit adultery.
In Jesus day, the Jews (of which he was one) were trying to validate their own righteousness by systematically going thru the law and trying to keep all of the commandments themselves. When it came to the 6th commandment, they felt they had that one in "the bag" as all they thought it meant was you just had to keep certain male body parts away from other female body parts and you were fine. But Jesus breaks up their little charade by saying:
"You have heard it said, 'Do not commit adultery', but I say to you if a man looks upon a woman with lust in his heart he is already guilty of committing adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. For it is better to enter heaven with one eye than to enter hell with two"
Let's parse this section a little.
First of all, imagine the Jewish pharisees standing around him when he said this. Their mouths must have dropped when they heard this. Really? It's not enough to stay "physically pure" I must stay "mentally pure" as well? This must have felt like a smack across the face.
Second, notice how Jesus says "man looks upon a woman with lust in his heart". He doesn't say "a person looks up another person". It's strictly man to woman and not the other way around. Jesus knows that MEN have a much harder time adhering to this commandment than woman do. He knows its in our DNA to chase every female who presents herself to us. I would say in fact men have 100 times more trouble holding to this commandment than woman do. (also note how Jesus' puts the problem on MEN and not WOMEN as Islam does. He does not call for woman to cover themselves from head to toe to keep men from lusting ... instead he calls out the men).
Third, Jesus follows it up with some of the most incredible advice ever given by saying we should "gouge our eyes" if they offend us. Now here I think Jesus is actually killing 2 birds with one stone. First of all he is making a point to those who want to EARN their place in heaven by showing to what extreme they will have to go to in order to make that happen. He knows how he made us and how incredibly difficult of a task it will be. Next he is saying to us that he knows we are fighting out own bodies. His illustration of eyes, feet and hands "offending us" makes them out to have a life and will of their own. Consider it like an involuntary "reflex action" in which the body does not need the brain to tell it to take your hand away from the burner... it does it all by itself (or at least only up to the spinal cord and back). How many of us men also feel like we are not in control of our own actions. We see a pretty woman walking down the street and INSTANTLY our eyes turn and we must look at her. How many men do we see shown on the evening news who seem to have no control over themselves sexually? For example, we recently had 3 teachers (in the past year) in our high school found guilty of having sexual relationships with girls under their care. Even my son said, "What are they thinking! Is it really worth throwing away a career and all the money you spent in college to get that job?" Obviously other needs took a higher priority in their lives and they are paying the price for it now.
So let me ask you this? Is it fair God made us men they way we are? Why didn't he make woman this way too? Why do THEY get a break and we don't? ( Oh I know movies and TV like to make you THINK that woman are as lustful as men are but in reality that only happens in very very rare cases.)
Once when Jesus was teaching about divorce he said,
"You have heard it said 'A man may give his wife a letter of divorce if she does something that displeases him' but I say to you, except for marital unfaithfulness (adultery) it is wrong to divorce. To this Peter (who was married) said, "This is difficult command. It is better for man to not marry".Jesus doesn't cut us any slack but instead points us to how things ought to be rather than how we would like them to be. One time I was talking to my son (who's 22) about marriage and told him about a couple in which the wife became paralyzed from the neck down and was no longer able to have a normal sexual relationship with her husband. I told him that even though this is not what the husband bargained for when he said "I do" he remained with her and loved her regardless of the fact that he would never have sex again. My son was aghast and said " I don't think I could do that!" But you must ask yourself: "Is God being unfair to the married man?" Should he not have the right to have sex? Shouldn't he be allowed to divorce her and find another mate in order to be happy? Shouldn't the wife adopt the philosophy of "If you love something set it free!" and let her husband go? After all sex is a vital part of being human... isn't it?
That brings me to my final point. Our world has indoctrinated us on how vital sex is to us. TV, books, videos filled with countless doctors, lecturers and gurus and told us we are sexual beings and it is wrong to pent-up those feelings and urges. We instead should express ourselves sexually whenever and with whoever (as long as its consensual, the other person is older than 17 unless its the case of an older woman and a younger man then the age requirement may need to be overlooked or dropped to 13 etc.. etc.. etc...) , We are told it's as needed as food and water for us to be healthy humans. But what does Jesus say?
When Jesus started his ministry he fasted for 40 days (went without food) and the Bible says that at the end "he was hungry" (starving would be a better word). The devil tempted him to turn stones into bread and eat. Now of course no one today would scold Jesus for taking care of his own physical needs. But Jesus says "Is life more than bread?" The answer to that question is of course NO. He trusts God will provide food for him when the time is right. He knows that while "public opinion" might be on his side to use his power (his right) to fill his stomach, he must instead rely on God.
We too must also ask ourselves, "Is life more than sex?" Is it sooOOOooo important that we should abandon God's commands? Jesus says, "If you love me, you will keep my commands". You will put him before everything else just as he put US before himself to save us by dying for us on the cross to do all we could not do ourselves.
So back to the original question: Is God unfair to homosexuals? I think in light of this you would say NO.
To those who say "Because Jesus never said anything directly against homosexuality and only Paul did in his letters, must mean that Jesus was OK with it and Paul was just a bigot" I will say this.
- Jesus' 3 year ministry was to the Jewish people who knew the Old Testament teachings. Telling them that homosexuality is wrong would be like union president reminding his members it's wrong to work past 5 o'clock without getting paid overtime. He doesn't need to say that because they already know that. Instead he spends his time with them teaching them that they cannot work their way to heaven but must rely 100% on God's grace and love.
- Paul was ministering to the Gentiles (non Jews) who had no knowledge of the Old Testament and so he needed to instruct them on these matters
- An absence of discussion does not mean it's condoned. For example, I have never heard my pastor say anything in his sermons about how smoking marijuana is bad. That does not mean he is "cool with it". He has only so much time to preach and cannot cover every topic under the sun.