The most dangerous court to be convicted in

   What court do you think is the worst one to be found in as a citizen?   Some think its a court in Dallas Texas or some small town in New Mexico or Arizona.   Others might argue that there are probably some pretty nasty courts in New York City where you would never want to find yourself being convicted in.   Visions of judges with axes to grind or being in cahoots with a local prison warden pop into our minds from multiple movies where the hero finds himself doing 25 years of hard labor working swamps and rock quarries. 

    Actually the worst court in America to be convicted in is not a real court at all.

    It's the court of public opinion. 

    What makes this court the most dangerous court in the land?

1) Guilty unless proven innocent without a shadow of a doubt.

Unlike our real courts you are considered guilty as charged.  People will say, "Why would this woman (or person) come up with such a story unless it wasn't true?"  Since they are the victim they are anointed "Sainthood" (and we all know saints never lie).  TV journalists will show countless pictures of them in their youth when they were young and carefree and innocent.  Tears from the victims faces will be played in slow motion with music playing in the background to tug at the juror's heartstrings.

2) Everyone is a juror and no one is a judge.

Do you have a Twitter account?  Then you too can be a juror in this court.  You can send out your whimsical and sarcastic 140 character messages to the Twitto-sphere and wait for your responses from the other jurors (you think to yourself "I missed my calling as a writer on Comedy Central").  Are you a TV personality looking for ratings?   You too can sit in a chair across from the convict to cross examine them and ask them personal questions they don't have to answer and it they don't answer that show complete guilt on their behalf.   You can squint your eyes with a serious look of anger towards the convict and offer a tissue to the victim as they shed tears

3) No 5th amendment rights in this court

As mentioned in the previous paragraph, the convict (note this court never uses the word "accused") is not allowed to NOT answer any questions.  To NOT answer is to confess guilt.  Look at Bill Cosby's radio interview where he decided to NOT answer the question by the host.   His lack of answer was a considered to be a clear and unmistakable confession of guilt.  If you say you don't want to give credence to these questions you are quickly confronted with questions of "don't you feel anything for these people who are accusing you?"

 4) No defense lawyer

In this court, there are very few who will be willing to come to your defense.  Since you are already guilty as charged, those running to your defense will be leveled with the same charge you have been found guilty of already.  You will be called a bigot, or a racist, or a woman hater and you will be only in attendance in this court to set your own future court appearance to be charged as well.

 5) No statute of limitations

What you do and say will be held against you in perpetuity (even after you are long dead).   Take for example what happened to Paula Deen.  She made some racist comment in a court case 30 years ago and it was drummed up and used against her with such force that she had to leave her TV show despite all the evidence to the contrary of what kind of person she is today.   Or another example, Bill Cosby today is being lambasted by women who say he raped them over 40 years ago and none of them ever went to the police to file a complaint or make a formal charge and all the evidence is gone.

6) Endless lawyers for the prosecution

"I'm not a lawyer but I love to play one on TV" is the common phrase used by streams of pretend journalists. These people want nothing more than to sit in a chair across from the convict with their legs crossed and holding the ever important pen and paper in their hand, asking those questions that "just HAVE to be asked".   Questions of the "victims" assume your guilt and probe only when the event occurred and how it felt to be victimized by the convict.  Lawyers will come out of the woodwork in the form of late-night-TV-hosts,  TV talk show hosts, TV gossip shows like "Inside Edition",  comedians, radio personalities, book writers and authors and even Washington politicians looking for anyone to compare themselves to that will make them look like saints.

7) Evidence is anything that proves you are guilty

"I heard a friend of mine who has a sister who is good friends with waitress whose uncle served in the military with a guy who used to mow the lawn of a neighbor 5 houses down from this person and that person said they thought they saw something strange happen around the house but wasn't very sure because they were drunk at the time".  

8) Sentencing never occurs, but the punishment begins immediately

You will be hounded every time you leave your abode.  You will wish you were dead at times and sometimes death is your only way out.   So often we have seen people who later commit suicide or die by drug abuse brought on by their conviction.  After your death, the sentence will be acquitted and loving tributes may be said in your honor with some mention to what caused you to lose hope. They may yet revisit the victims of your "crime" to see if they have found "peace in your dying" or not.   No amount of tears you offer on national television will ever be enough.  Your tears will be analyzed for true contriteness of heart by an array of psychologists who couldn't tell you the difference between schizophrenia and psychosis (but darn they look good on TV).  You may be mocked for your attempt to set things right and say your sorry.  Lawyers against you will say "No amount of tears will undo the damage they have done".   Most convicts will sentence themselves to home jail by locking themselves up in their homes never to be seen again.  (This will be also haled as additional evidence of your guilt as well).


The only GOOD thing to say about this court is that it is SWIFT and it is DECISIVE.  There are no hung courts (just hung convicts) and there are no court of appeals as their motto is:

Reus Supplicia semper, et semel, reus

which means

Once guilty, always guilty