An honest graduation commencement speech

It's getting around that time of year again when many parents will witness the culmination of years of hard work and watch their son or daughter take that long walk up to the stage to receive their high school diploma and feel a sense of relief.   "We did it!" many will be saying to themselves.  But before they receive that Kinko's printed and fake gold-paper embossed sign of achievement, they will most likely sit through a short speech given by a teach, administrator, local politician, businessman or even a minister.  That person will talk about all the work that went in getting here and give appreciation to their parents.   He or she will talk about how anyone in this great country can make it and that laid out for them is a golden road on which they will travel into the future... blah blah blah.   Or as I put it .. BS BS BS!

To bad they won't be told the truth.   (Maybe as Jack Nicholson put in the movie "A Few Good Men", "You can't handle the TRUTH!".)  

So how would I address the class of 2014?

To the Class of 2014 ........................... You did it!
To the Parents of the Class of 2014 .... You did it!

But just what did you "do" ?

According to the DoE,  the US ranks 25th in  math and 17th in science in world wide ratings.  In these two subjects California ranked  40th out of 50.  So welcome to the bottom of the bottom.   Those of you how graduated with honors.... welcome to the top of the bottom of the bottom.

To be honest .... we lied to you.

• We gave all of you, gold-stars for attendance and large plastic gold trophies for "participation".  Your coaches told all of you how each you was as good as the other and gave long speeches over pizza about how important YOU WERE to the team. 
• We gave you "passing" and "needs a little improvement" marks, rather than As,Bs,Cs,Ds and Fs.  We told you no ever FAILS!  We just all achieve different levels of competence!
• We made your playgrounds so safe that no one no matter how stupid or careless would EVER, EVER get hurt.  If someone did happen to get hurt that activity was BANISHED from the playground for ALL ETERNITY so no other child would experience the pain or humiliation again.
• And speaking of humiliation, we made sure teams during PE or recess were chosen randomly so no one would have to experience the "humiliation" of being chosen last.
• We massaged your egos and told all of that you can ALL BE ROCK STARS.   To do this we provided you with an endless array of groups and events to show off "your thing" and make your "mark on the world".   
• When you failed, WE took the blame for it.  It was because the city didn't provide enough funding or education.  We argued that we didn't understand the adolescent mind,  or we should have stopped you in some way with better police enforcement or adult supervision.  It was because we started you to soon or not soon enough in school.   It was because we didn't give you the right tutoring, attention or medicine.  
• We gave you TV programs showing kids taking matters into their own hands and that even their mistakes are rewarded with good outcomes.  When you became obese, we blamed the giant corporations and the fast food industry for making you that way, instead of pointing you out the door to play kickball with your friends.   
• When it came to SEX we educated you on how WONDERFUL it all is and how ADULT it is.  We made you grow up faster and faster each year and in the process we STOLE your childhood.   
• We lied to you and told you that ANY college degree is better than NO degree at all and that college is a place to "find yourself".  

And now you are entering the REAL world...

A world where:

• Very few ever get trophies for their achievements. 
• Some will get ahead in this life and others won't.  And who does and who doesn't won't be based necessarily on who is popular or not.  Some of it will be based on how hard you work, on what your priorities are, on what opportunities you look for, on where your willing to go or not go.  And yes, sometimes on how lucky your are.
• Where you do get a failing grade...it's called a "pink slip" (ask your parents, chances are they know what this is)
• Where people can get hurt and often do from their own stupidity.  (just ask someone whose house is worth half as much as when they bought it)
• 99.9999999% of us will never be Rock Stars.  But we will raise children and help in our communities and churches without recognition.   We won't have thousands of fans chanting our name and telling us how much they love and adore us.   But maybe some day we will be surrounded at our bedside with children, grand-children and maybe even great-grand-children telling us how influential we were in their lives.
• You will fail at some point in your life and you will have to face your own participation in that failure, be it in work, marriage, family or society at large.  There won't be anyone else to blame but you yourself.  You did that!  You said that!  And these failures probably won't have good outcomes like on Disney.  Instead, they will have ramifications for years to come.   
• More and more people are wanting to live off of fewer and fewer.  Where some people are unashamed to be takers and not givers.  Where its all about what you can get away with.  Which group will you be in?
• A $18T government debt that is about to eclipse our annual GDP and will need increasing amounts of taxes JUST TO PAY THE INTEREST ON THE DEBT!   Most of this debt will be to pay for the health and retirement of the baby-boomer generation (the most selfish generation on earth) and you will be the ones left with the bill!   Yes we all had a great party and now someone has to pay the tab!   We will all be dead and gone, but our legacy will live on as you look at your weekly pay stub and see more and more of your hard earned money taken out.
• College tuition is rising at 3-4 times the rate of inflation and that colleges are so overcrowded that there is no longer a 4 year degree, but instead it will take you 5 or even 6 years to graduate.  Compounded,  you will all leave college with more debt than our parents had when they bought their first house.   And that college degree in East European 19th Century Fascist Literature won't mean a thing to the 50 year old manager looking to hire an assistant sales accountant.  

So take off your caps, throw them in the air and yell "HURRAY!!  WE DID IT!"

Just know that the cap you throw up in the air must come down and hit the cold hard earth in the end.